


A Christmas To Die For [Beyond the Light Christmas Special]

by crowby



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Hijinks, Fluff, M/M, Violence, angst if you squint hard enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:21:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21925108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowby/pseuds/crowby
Summary: {This is part of my AU 'Beyond the Light' which you can read here https://archiveofourown.org/works/22179424/chapters/52949464 . So some lines and scenes will make no sense.}Crowley has forgotten about Christmas coming up, and only has a week left to get everything together! Will he get everything in time, or will it all be a bust?
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 2





	A Christmas To Die For [Beyond the Light Christmas Special]

**Author's Note:**

> merry christmas you filthy animal, shimo

Snow slowly fell onto the city of Soho. Despite the heavy overcast, the blankets of snow still blinded anyone who dared to look at it too long. The sidewalks and roads had become a thick, dirty slush while every other surface was pristinely untouched. Not many people seemed to be keen on trudging through the nonstop snowfall thus the streets were abnormally empty today. A small, old bookshop at the corner of one street had sun bleached curtains drawn over frosted window panes.   
  
Inside the shop were two men huddled close on an old love seat. The tall, thin male rested his head on the slightly shorter, chubbier man’s lap that was covered by a blanket. The tall redhead snuggled into his own blanket as his lover was engrossed in a book. Across from them was a handcrafted, large fireplace mantle. On the mantle was a few small books and knick-knacks. Above it was a large clock that ticked softly by. The fire contained in the fireplace crackled with it, creating a comfortable ambiance.    
  
Crowley looked at the fire for a bit, slightly blinding himself doing so. He decided to scan around the fire. The dark brown wood of the mantel, the trinkets on top of it, repeating grey floral wallpaper him and Aziraphale had picked together when renovating the shop. He smiled slightly at the work they have both put into restoring the condemned building. He would convince himself that they were just doing it to keep up appearances, but Crowley deep down loved the domestic life they had created for themselves on this puny planet.    
  
After he followed the trail of pale pink flowers on the walls, mindlessly counting them, Aziraphale was the first to break the comfortable silence.   
  
“Are you excited?”   
  
Crowley furrowed his brows at the question, trying to think about what his lover was getting at. He rolled over so he could look up at Aziraphale, or the book that that obscured his face.   
  
“Are you talking about the Grim Reaper?” the redhead questioned. The blond laughed and set his book aside on a side table.   
  
“No silly, Christmas!” he exclaimed as he looked down to meet the demon’s eyes. “We talked about it, remember? I asked you if you would like to celebrate it with me and-”   
  
“O-Oh! Yeah, yeah, I remember…” Crowley lied. He completely forgot. He was putting his brain power to getting the Grim Reaper, his own work and the bookshop.   
“Um, when is it again?”   
  
“The 25th of this month.”   
  
“Ah,” Crowley relaxed a bit when he realized it wasn’t today or tomorrow so he had time. “That’s nice.”   
  
“I’m quite excited myself. Only a week left!”   
  
With that, the demon shot up, almost hitting Aziraphale in the process. He coughed as his mind raced. His eyes were wide and blood sputtered out of him and onto his hand. The ethereal being hesitantly patted his partner’s back. It took a moment for Crowley to stop and look around the room as though something in the backroom would relieve his panic.    
  
“Crowley? Are you okay?” Aziraphale asked, sounding very concerned.   
  
“Fine!” Crowley answered way too fast and stood up immediately, heading to the bathroom. “Let me clean up this blood! Be right back!”   
  
Aziraphale wanted to call out to him, probe him just a bit more to make sure he was okay, but was stopped by the slamming of the bathroom door. He sighed and returned to his book.   
  
Meanwhile, the lanky man was gripping the bathroom sink with dear life. He looked at the mirror, staring down his reflection as he panicked internally. He thought back, thinking of all the stuff he needed for this silly human celebration. Decorations, he had a few from Aziraphale’s impulse purchases but it wouldn’t hurt to get some of those colored lights and a tree. The pit in his stomach grew more as he realized he didn’t even have a tree. No tree and definitely no decorations for the tree either so add them to the list.   
  
There was nothing for a Christmas dinner for them. Crowley definitely remembered that, since Aziraphale was practically salivating when talking about it with him. He double checked himself if he got all the dumb, weird traditions. Tree, decorations, dinner, and something else that he was trying desperately grasp at. He sneered at the mirror, cursing himself for pushing something so important to his angel out of his head. Like a smack to the face it finally came to him and he exclaimed to himself quietly.   
  
“A gift!”   
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-   
  
The day began just like many since the two otherworldly beings became comfortable in their new lives. They both woke up at 6am. Well, Aziraphale woke up at 6am and made breakfast before waking up his stubborn partner at 6:30. They sat at a little kitchen table they repainted and refurbished together. It was a bright red and was painted very unevenly, but they both wouldn’t dare to try and fix it. They chatted and ate up the eggs Aziraphale seemed so great at making. Once they were done, they got dressed and the angel went out to open the shop.   
  
Crowley stayed in the apartment in the back of the shop. He took out his phone and googled places nearby that sold trees. Yesterday, he had come up with a plan. He knew of a thrift shop nearby that would still have Christmas decorations. After that, he would grab a tree and then grab everything for dinner. On the way, he can figure out a gift to give to Aziraphale. That was the plan, now all he had to do was get it in motion.   
  
He put on a black wool coat, dark red scarf, and matching red gloves. He quickly went out to the shop floor and was about to head out the door when Aziraphale quickly came to his side and stopped him.   
  
“Crowley! I thought you didn’t have work?”   
  
Crowley looked around the shop and tried to think up an excuse. He didn’t want the angel to realize how incompetant he was.   
  
“Um, I was called in for an emergency. Plant emergency.”   
  
That seemed to work as the blond relaxed and gave his signature warm smile to him. He patted Crowley’s shoulder before pecking his cheek.   
  
“You get going then, dear,” he said as the redhead exitted the shop. “Mind as you go!”   
  
Crowley hated lying to the angel, especially in this atmosphere, but he had little time to think about that. Despite the many different layers of clothing, he shuddered in the bitter cold. He could feel it right down to his bones. No wonder no one wanted to go out in this weather, he thought, you’d have to be crazy or stupid to be walking through this. He stuffed his gloved hands in his pockets while snow caught in his hair.   
  
It was a lot of walking, and turning around, and going down two wrong streets before consulting his GPS before he finally found the thrift shop. It looked like the bookshop before he and Aziraphale fixed it up. Some letters on the sign were missing, the windows so dirty you could barely make out the messy window displays, and the light blue paint on the outside of the building was chipping away. He double checked his phone to see if this was indeed the right place. It apparently was, and without any more thought, he made his way in.   
  
The demon relaxed as he felt the warmth of the store hit him. He was a bit surprised to find the heating system worked here, but was still grateful for it. He looked around the shop to find it as equally messy as the displays. The only thing keeping it from being a fire hazard was the walkways were clear enough for at least one person to walk through. He took a look behind the desk to find the shopkeeper watching the news on a tiny old TV.    
  
Crowley started making his way through, what he was hesitant to call, aisles in search of any Christmas decorations. He saw some Christmas themed knick-knacks, loose CDs with a few saying “Christmas Music”, and decorations for every other holiday but nothing he was looking for. He eyed shelf after shelf, looking from the oddly moist boxes on the floor to the dusty high shelves. He was getting close to giving up when he almost knocked a few boxes of definitely unwashed clothes on himself. Then, like a shining ray of hope, hidden away in cobweb infested corner was a hefty box of decorations.    
  
He looked through to make sure nothing gross or broken was in it and was satisfied to find nothing wrong. There seemed to be no tree ornaments but he decided to pick those up at another store. He picked up the box and quickly made his way to the front counter. The TV had changed to some morning talk show and seemed to be holding the man’s attention more than his own business. Crowley contemplated just walking out with the box, but decided against better judgement and Aziraphale’s influence to just buy it.   
  
“Excuse me?”   
  
The large, balding man continued to watch the brainless program. He tried to call out a bit louder this time.   
  
“Excuse me!”   
  
Still nothing. Crowley rolled his eyes.   
  
“Oi!”   
  
That finally got the man’s attention. He turned around, showing his surprisingly red, sweaty face. He eyed Crowley up and down and then looked over at the box. The lanky man got out his wallet.   
  
“How much for the whole box?”   
  
The man brought the box closer to him, looking through it. After a minute of assessing the goods, he retracted his hand and said with a grunt.   
  
“ £ 85.”   
  
“Hold on, 85?” Crowley questioned as he started to put away his wallet. “This is barely worth 50.”   
  
“It’s the holidays, it’s gonna be worth a lot more.”   
  
The demon sighed and contemplated this. He was sure he just went through this whole store’s inventory, and he was sure he wasn’t going to have enough to buy all of this for any less at another store. It was still outrageous though, especially for a thrift shop. He leaned over the counter and close to the more robust man.    
  
“What about 65? Sound good to you?”   
  
The ominously greasy man narrowed his eyes and leaned against the counter.   
“85, and ‘m not budging.”   
  
“What if I… make you a deal?”   
  
“I’m not interested in men.”   
  
Crowley retracted from the counter and lifted his hands up.   
“Woah, where did you get that?”   
  
He took another once over on his form and Crowley got the hint.   
  
“I was only going to offer you a discount at A.Z. Fell, damn.”   
  
The much older man crossed his arms.   
“Not much of a reader.”   
  
“I can tell.”   
  
“Now what is that supposed to mean?” the shopkeeper said as his mood quickly soured and his face became more red. The redhead sighed and took his wallet back out.   
  
“Listen I’ll just pay you the  £ 85 and-”   
  
“100.”   
  
“-WHAT?!” Crowley almost dropped his wallet.   
  
“90 if you apologize for wasting my time.”   
  
“Oh, I am  _ so sorry for wasting your time _ . I can tell you’re just bustling with customers!” the occult being exclaimed, turning around and gesturing to the very empty store.    
  
The man slammed his hands on the counter before pointing one of his sausage fingers over at the door.   
“Get out or ‘ll snap you in half, twiggy!”   
  
Crowley turned back around, glaring at the shopkeeper before stomping back out into the cold. He tried to slam the door closed, but it got stuck and he had to awkwardly shimmy it closed. He huffed and looked out into the street. He couldn’t believe someone could run a store like that. He took out his phone and looked at the time. His eyes grew wide as he saw he had wasted  **two hours** in that hoarders den.   
  
He couldn’t leave empty handed after all that time. He tucked his phone back in his pant’s pocket and looked around. There seemed to be only one car on the street, and it was parked right in front of the thrift store. It also seemed to be stuffed with dirty junk just like the store. He checked up and down the street, making sure no one was in sight before begrudgingly taking his jacket off.   
  
It was 30 minutes after the lanky, flamboyant man had left the establishment. The shopkeeper had taken a moment to ease out his frustrations in the bathroom before returning to watching the tiny, portable TV. The hosts were talking about some horrible incident that occurred with some celebrity, giving their own half baked opinions and vague support that would get the audience clapping. They quickly took it too a segment about what was the best breakfast food on a keto diet.   
  
The sound of glass shattering and metal scraping abruptly came from outside. The store owner turned to find his own Ford Granada tumbling down the street like a crushed can in the wind. He whipped his head around before stumbling outside just in time to see his car skidded to a stop down the street. He began screaming any obscene word he could think of. In his rage, he failed to notice the flamboyant customer from before rush in the store, jacket loosely on him, grab the box of decorations and rush out down the opposite end of the street.   
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-   
  
Crowley quietly entered through the back door into the mudroom. He hid the decorations in a cabinet above the washer and dryer, knowing Aziraphale wouldn’t ever look there. He sighed and tapped his boots on the floor to clear any snow. His face was terribly red and red hair completely soaked. He had ran around town, first getting away with the stolen goods and finding a store with cheap ornaments. After that, he went to probably every Christmas tree seller in the whole city. None had any good trees left if they had any at all. It was also than Crowley realized he would need a car to haul the whole thing or use his powers in public.   
  
The tree was a bust, but the first part of his plan was a success. He tried looking for a gift when he was getting ornaments, but nothing ever screamed out to him as a good gift for his angel. He was sure he would find something, maybe, hopefully. He took off his wet coat and hung it up, haphazardly taking his boots off after. He tried to quietly enter the kitchen, making sure to cause as little noise as possible. What he didn’t see, however, was Aziraphale standing near the counter and watching him very confused.   
  
“Um, good evening dear.”   
  
Crowley jumped and looked over at Aziraphale. The blond was munching on some biscuits that looked like little Christmas trees.   
“Oh, uh, hey Aziraphale.”   
  
“Why are you home so late?” Aziraphale asked as he slowly scanned Crowley’s drenched form and closed the tin of biscuits.   
  
“Well, while I was at work, Ananthama asked me to run a few errands as well since I was already there and all and ya know…” the demon trailed off as he slowly made his way around the table, clearly avoiding Aziraphale and heading to the bathroom.   
  
“No, I don’t know. Crowley, are you going to be okay?”   
  
“Mhm, yeah. I’m fine. As you say, tickety-boo!”    
And with that, Crowley quickly dashed to the bathroom and locked the door tightly.   
  
The angel sighed, putting the tin away and turning on the radio. He began to tidy up the kitchen as the news came on. Crowley was too busy peeling his clothes off himself to listen to the muffled broadcasting. One word caught his attention though as he was still half in his skinny jeans. He couldn’t catch much else of it, but he made out “forest”. The old cogs in his mind slowly turned.   
  
Forest. Forests have trees. A bunch of trees in fact. Not many people are in forests, especially this time of year. About an hour or two out of the city was a nice, quiet, and secluded forest full of plenty of nice trees that would look perfect in the supernatural beings’s abode. Crowley grinned as he got his phone off the bathroom counter and devised another brilliant plan.   
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-   
  
The car shuddered as it sped down the icy roads. Trees lined both sides of the withered, old road. Snow fell down onto the dense forest. The windshield wipers creaked loudly from trying desperately to keep up with the precipitation. The wheels, quite smooth from constant use, threatened to slide off road. It would have done just that if one very determined demon wasn’t gripping the wheel with a vice like grip.   
  
Crowley glared through the windshield and it’s handful of cracks. The back window, which wasn’t a window but a garbage bag loosely stuck to the car with the most minimal of duct tape, whipped in the wind. The flailing garbage bag and dying heating system created a beautiful symphony of annoyance to make Crowley press down on the gas even more.   
  
The redhead had asked his boss for a car yesterday. She kindly suggested her one odd friend’s disgrace of a vehicle. He was an odd fellow, but it was kind of him to lend his car at short notice. Even though the car screamed to simply die already and the trunk being full of a surplus of lemons, it was good enough. In the blurry distance, Crowley could make out an opening just big enough to be noticed. He began to slow down to inspect it.   
  
It looked like fine enough path leading into the forest. Some tree stumps of various heights scattered the path. Next to these stumps laid the possible other half of them in the thick blanket of snow. They looked to have been snapped off like twigs, the ends of both of them being splintered. A few trees that bordered the destruction looked to be curved and bent, threatening to snap just like the others. The path seemed to continue deeper into the forest and continue for quite some time. Whatever went through there must have forced its way through and was quite large. Crowley summed it up to some bear or whatever.   
  
He parked the car right in front of the forcefully made path. He grabbed an ax he kept in the passenger seat before getting out and heading through the massacre of trees. Crowley took wide steps over the old trees and shimmied passed what remained of some trunks. The thick snow, which almost came up to his knees with every step in it, crunching beneath his feet and the occasional breeze was the only sounds in the silent forest.   
  
Soon the forest thinned out and the demon could see a clearing up ahead. It had a few trees, but one robust pine tree got his attention instantly. It wasn’t too big, it seemed quite full and green, and Crowley could easily see it standing in the corner of his living room or in the middle of the bookshop. He tightened the grip on his ax and quickened his pace.   
  
Crowley dusted the snow off his shoulders and shook it from his hair while he approached the tree. He admired it, circling it to double check for any blemishes. He made a ring of footsteps around the entire thing. He smiled wide when he didn’t find a single problem and properly made a deep enough trench around the pine. He lifted the ax above his head, ready to swing and get this over with, when he heard a twig snap just behind him. Crowley furrowed his brows and lowered the ax.   
  
He turned around to see a humanoid figure through the fogginess of snowfall. He squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at them. They didn’t seem to move, or even have appropriate clothing. He could see a flannel which was much too big on the person flutter slightly in the wind. He also saw something on their legs flutter as well. With a sudden force of energy and focusing on the legs just a bit more, Crowley realized those weren’t even legs to begin with. He sighed and dropped the ax, raising his hands in defense and slowly approaching the being.   
  
“Listen, I’m not here to fight. I’m from the undercrust too. Just… let me take the tree and I’ll be on my way.”   
  
The being didn’t move, but whatever it was substituting as legs seemed to fidget and squirm more. Crowley continued to approach them.   
  
“Do we have a deal?”   
  
Like the wind, the being’s voice carried in the air gently yet ominously, hissing with tension and echoing into the forest.   
_ “You have entered my domain….. Now prepare to pay the price.” _ _  
_ _  
_ Crowley groaned and rubbed his face, stopping in place.   
  
“Oh come on, I really don’t need this right now.”   
  
_ “I will take your place… you will be a fruitful victory…” _   
  
“Listen,” Crowley began and put his hands on his hips. “Two things. One, I think the forest is technically owned by the government. Two, I just want a tree. Let me take the tree and I’ll let you do whatever you were doing here.”   
  
The being didn’t seem to care or even listen to the fellow demon. It began to advance, it’s thin, wispy tendrils piercing through the snow and carrying it closer to the redhead. A hiss or buzz like static filled the air as two larger tendrils appeared from the sleeves of the tattered flannel. Crowley groaned again and rolled his eyes. He took his sweet time taking his jacket, scarf, and gloves off. The being fastened it’s pace as Crowley continued to strip until he was in his underwear.    
  
The evading demon’s light grey skin looked dry and seemed to have ridges, looking almost like bark. About five eyes were randomly placed on its body, bulging and blood shot with large pupils. On the top of it was what looked like a beak which was open with a tongue or two sticking out of it. Right when it was bending down to snap at Crowley, the redhead’s abdomen seemed to stretch over to the side to dodge the attack.   
  
The buzzing grew louder and was eventually accompanied by the sound of flesh tearing and bones cracking. Crowley’s neck grew longer, his skin beginning to crack and chaffe as insect-like limbs protruded from the now extended and ribbed abdomen. His jaw unhinged as his eyes grew larger and yellow, in turn his pupils thinning out. The foe snapped again, tearing off some flesh and exposing glisteing muscle and bone. Crowley cried out and scuttled around the enemy.   
  
His legs fussed and thinned out to create a tail which slapped the creature. The other demon staggered back, it’s tendrils just barely catching itself. Crowley took this advantage, summoning the many rows of teeth and his slimy, forked tongue. He chomped down on the side of the other, thrashing him around like a dog toy and destroying the flannel further. A high pitched whistle sound reverberated through the air, even causing some snow to fall off of nearby trees.   
  
Crowley soon felt rough tendrils cling to his face and try to probe their way into his now thin nostrils and eyes. One of the two larger ones dug into the gash from before, worming underneath the skin and making the wound bleed out. Crowley cried in pain which in turn made him drop the demon. Said demon thrusted upwards to snap at Crowley’s face, but he twisted his neck away and into a loop to avoid the attack. The demon was still able to rip off another piece of flesh from him.    
  
Crowley had enough of fooling around. He circled the being with his entire body, hissing and growling as it felt it’s limbs dig and scrap just underneath his skin. His pupils thinned out more as he glared at one of the few eyes on his enemy. He kept circling, going faster and faster to try and confuse the other. It seemed to be working and he took to acting fast on his next move. With a blur of reddened flesh and black limbs, two of Crowley’s buggy legs pierced through the annoying creature.   
  
One had missed and was just below one bulging eye, the second leg was a direct hit to another eye. Thick, almost black blood oozed out of the demon as it screeched in pain. It flailed and squirmed while it was pinned to the ground. Crowley took no time at all to bend his obtusely long neck down and begin to rip the demon piece by piece. Tendrils ripped off with a satisfying snapping sound like bark. Other tendrils retreated from Crowley’s wound and in futility grabbed at Crowley’s now blood soaked face. They too were soon grabbed by the equally long tongue of his and ripped off.   
  
Blood stained the snow beneath them both as Crowley chowed down on the demon. Soon, all that remained was a bloodied, tattered flannel and red snow. The snake-like demon used his insect legs to dig through the snow. He checked if he missed any pieces of his meal and was satisfied to find he didn’t. He retreated back to his human form and instantly began to shudder. He was now fully nude, covered in his own blood and the other demon’s blood. He quickly waddled to his pile of clothes and put them back on before finishing what he came here for in the first place.   
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-   
  
Aziraphale had long since closed the bookshop and night fell onto the city. The snow had stopped and the sky opened up to reveal the majesty of stars and a waning moon. The little light from the natural satellite made the snow sparkle just like the stars. Street lights flickered on to empty roads and sidewalks. Everyone was huddled snugly in their homes, including Aziraphale.    
  
The angel had started a fire that crackled and snapped from the fresh wood. Once he was satisfied, he sat down on the love seat with a nice, thick book and some warm cocoa. He took a sip of the chocolaty beverage and looked up to the clock. It was getting late, and Crowley was still not home. He looked concerningly to the fire, hoping and praying that any minute now, the wily demon would waltz in and snuggle up with him to the fire.    
  
Whatever being was listening seemed to comply with the angel as the sound of the back door opening could be heard. After some hushed cussing and the sound of something bumping into a table, Crowley appeared. Aziraphale smiled, but then quickly scanned the other in confusion as he saw him wearing his work clothes. A light brown t-shirt that said “Garden of Eden” in fancy green text and dark green, khaki pants.   
  
“I see that work emergency got a bit... out of hand,” Aziraphale said as he saw Crowley dart to the bathroom just like he had done yesterday.   
  
“Yeah, was a  _ huge _ mess, lots of stains, horrible,” the demon said with exaggerated hand movements. Before he could let the other comment any further, he quickly shut the bathroom door. Aziraphale huffed and shook his head before begrudgingly opening his book and began to read it.   
  
After what sounded like a shower, Crowley emerged wrapped in a towel. Aziraphale proposed dinner for the both of them, but was rejected and told his partner wasn’t too hungry. The demon than explained he was quite tired and retreated to the bedroom. The ethereal being knew he shouldn’t feel so bad for a simple rejection to dinner, but he was worried about Crowley. He was acting odd for the last few days and disappearing for long periods. Aziraphale tried not to think too much about it, but his concerns grew more when he was putting away Crowley’s clothes he left in the bathroom, and found that his underwear were missing.   
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-   
  
Crowley’s last phase of his plan took a little longer than expected. A few days ago, Aziraphale had approached him about his missing underwear and odd behavior. He could admit, when it came to his angel he was a terrible liar. He was bombarded with questions and concerns that day, making the whole lying thing sting a bit more. He felt terrible, so he decided to wait it out just a bit before commencing the final phase.   
  
He pushed his trolley down one of the many scarce aisles of the local grocery store. Fluorescent lights boarding on painful illuminated the tile floors and practically empty shelves. Christmas music could be heard just enough to notice it, but not enough to make out any of the lyrics.He wasn’t surprised that with a day left to Christmas the store would be running low on things. He slowly passed the shelves, leaning on his cart as he tried to find a can or two of cranberry sauce.    
  
In the last few days, Crowley took the advantage of reading up recipes for a perfect Christmas dinner. Desserts as well, of course. He was sure he had everything he needed once he found a few dented cans of cranberry sauce. He took out the list from his pocket to check again. His eyes kept switching from the crumpled piece of paper to the cart, checking everything off mentally. He did indeed have everything except for a ham. The loudspeaker clicked on and a whiny, teenage voice came through the store’s speakers, interrupting the music.   
  
“All deli and meats are now 70% off from now until closing.”   
  
Another click and the music returned. Crowley could hear the squeaking of trolley wheels and quick footsteps as every customer was now making their way towards the meat department. He couldn’t believe how pathetic humans could be for a simple meal. He scoffed, feeling proud he wasn’t so pathetic. It took a few seconds as he looked down at the list to realize one important thing. Ham was a meat.   
  
Crowley quickly stuffed the list in his pocket and clumsily making his way to the meat department as well. He saw a wall of bodies around the refrigerated shelves, grabbing whatever they could get regardless if they needed it or not. People shoved each other, banging carts together and beginning to argue as they fought like animals. The demon parked his own cart a bit away from the commotion and tried to make his way through the wall. He shimmied and squeezed but was pushed back out.   
  
He looked around for an opening, when he saw two soccer moms playing tug-of-war with a ham. He had an idea, but hesitate. He had been a real monster the past week. Destruction of property, breaking the law, murdering a fellow demon. He couldn’t bring himself to continue like this. He could simply buy what he had already gotten and head to another store for the ham. Much easier to do and he didn’t have to bring himself down to this ravenous behavior.   
  
His thoughts started to shift though. He did indeed do all those things, but it was for the greater good in the end. Well, his greater good. This was all for Aziraphale. His love, his light, his reason for living. He wouldn’t be here or even have the will to continue with his existence if he had never met his angel. He wanted this Christmas to be perfect because Aziraphale deserved this. He deserved everything good and wonderful, even if that meant Crowley had to act like an asshole to achieve any of this.   
  
He thought deeply about this before coming to a decision. As he mumbled “fuck it” while grabbing his cart, he ran towards the two women. Hitting them hard with his cart, he caused them to drop the ham while also knocking one of them to the floor. He didn’t stop though, he kept going and picked up the ham on the way. Crowley began to rush to the registers while the two women and a few witnesses shouted after him.    
  
When he got to the front of the store he skidded to a stop. The redhead saw lines upon lines of people, extending into the aisles, at every available register. He turned to find one of the women from before and a few other people beginning to gain chase on him. He looked back and forth from the register to the group of angry customers a few times before deciding that he might as well commit theft for the second time that week. He ran to the sliding entrance door while still pushing the trolley.    
  
Fortunately for him, someone was coming in while he was rushing towards it. He almost hit the person entering, but dodged it and continued through the parking lot. Soon the small group of customers were joined by some employees trying to stop them and him. The demon tried to bargain with his conscious that he would return to pay for everything after the holidays, but he knew deep down he wouldn’t. He kept running even after the people gave up their chase.   
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-   
  
“Can I come out yet, darling?”   
  
“Almost!”   
  
Crowley had told Aziraphale to stay in their room today until he was finished with his “surprise”. Aziraphale didn’t know what this was, but assumed it was possibly his Christmas gift. It had been a bit longer than expected though. He hoped his demon didn’t go out of his way too much for an extravagant gift. He was fine just enjoying the other’s company for the whole day, but Crowley liked to be more ambitious with showing his affection for him.   
  
“Okay! Come out!”   
  
The blond slowly opened the bedroom door and inspected the hallway. It looked the same, but there was some garland hanging on the walls and multicolored light shining from the other room. He hesitantly stepped through until he entered the living room. The angel put a hand to his chest and gasped as his eyes widened. The living room was decorated intricately. Lights and garland lines the walls and mantle, while ribbons and bows spotted the room. Tinsel was scattered here and there, with bells and ornaments as well. The tree was just the same.   
  
Lights that were strewn around branches twinkled on tinsel and ornaments. It was a mix of white and red ornaments. On top sat a bright, yellow star. The love seat was gone and replaced with the table from the kitchen. On it was an entire feast. A steaming ham covered in honey and pineapples. Stuffing and pasta salad with a gravy boat next to them. Yams, corn on the cob, green beans and onions, and a plethora of desserts. It looked like Crowley was running out of pans and dishes near the end because some of these were in presumably clean flower pots.    
  
Crowley stood in the middle of the room, arms extended to gesture the whole scene. To top it off he was also wearing an ugly sweater that said “Dear Santa, I can Explain”. Aziraphale took a minute to take it all in. He couldn’t believe his lover would go so far for him. His vision blurred as he barely registered he was crying. Crowley lowered his arms and was quickly concerned. He approached Aziraphale and cupped his face with both hands, wiping any escaping tears away.   
  
“Are you okay, angel?”   
  
“Crowley…. You didn’t have to,” Aziraphale said as he smiled up at him. Crowley smiled back.   
  
“Anything for my angel.”   
  
They looked at each other for a moment before Crowley remembered something.   
  
“Oh! I almost forgot,” he said and dug into his pocket. Aziraphale wiped away any remaining tears from his eyes and then watched him take out a small, white box. Carefully, Crowley opened the box.   
  
“I also got you a gift. I hope you like it.”   
  
Inside the box sat a ring. The band looked to be in the shape of a snake and a faint gold color. In the middle of it was a light blue jewel. Aziraphale felt himself ready to cry again, but collected himself just in time. He gently took the ring from the box and without a second thought, put it on. He smiled wide and looked back up at Crowley.   
  
“I love you, dear.”   
  
Crowley closed the box, setting it aside and wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. The demon brought him close and kissed his head.   
  
“Merry Christmas, Aziraphale.”


End file.
